you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
