he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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