You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
