My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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