Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Your cock deserves a montage
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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