Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
