i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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