either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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