Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Drunk is not a location!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
