We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
