remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
