One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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