Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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