Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
