you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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