Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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