Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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