Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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