Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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