i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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