Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just found puke in my bra..
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
