hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
