Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize