You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
