I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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