He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
