White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize