was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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