his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
