So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
