we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
