i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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