I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
