I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
