gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
