i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
