South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
