I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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