guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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