It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
