id be glad to
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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