Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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