It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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