I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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