Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
