New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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