im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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