it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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