I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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