??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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