you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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