Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
