I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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