Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Randomize
