theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You were trust falling into bushes
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
