you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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