We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize