Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
