she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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