i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
