That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
