walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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