I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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