I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
