we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
