Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize