I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
