I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
