Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
