She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
