Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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