So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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