sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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