so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
