Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
